I’m full of mixed emotions today. All being well, I’ll be discharged from my psychiatric hospital tomorrow into the care of the Home Treatment Team. After 4½ weeks as a patient here in The Priory, it will be a great joy to go home, and in particular to be home with my family for Christmas. But, alongside the excitement, there is also the fear – the fear of coping alone without the specialist support of The Priory team around me. 

Given that this is my second admission to The Priory, I had expected not to have this reaction. But, I have been taken by surprise.

Tee joy is very real and I can hardly contain my excitement. But the fear is real too. In part, it is because one begins to get institutionalised having spent a lengthy time in hospital. In part, it is the fear of losing the encompassing support of doctors, nurses and therapists. But in greater part, it is the fear of becoming unstable – of beginning to modulate again as I have done so much these last weeks. 

The last few days, however, have been good days – glimpses of myself shining through. And I will have the backup of the Home Treatment Team and a wonderful family.

So tomorrow will be a step of faith. Faith in the skill of my psychiatrist and the power of my medication. Faith in the psychological tools I have learned. And faith in God – and what better time of year to be called upon to do that.